I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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