Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Randomize
