He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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