I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
