I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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