I cockslap morals
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Randomize