I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
