wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
