true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All I want is dick and wine.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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