ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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