you have to choose: penises or morals?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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