I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
