we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
