you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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