We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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