why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
