all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
