The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize