You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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