Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
