He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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