So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
its not stalking. its research.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
