no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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