i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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