I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
