so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
