I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
foreskin is a definite game changer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
