This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
