the new term for farting is butt boxing.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
