My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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