I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
