the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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