he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
