i think my tv is drunk
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize