Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
