I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
