i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
