yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize