all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
