Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize