please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
