Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
