Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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