Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
