Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
