atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
