I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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