whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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