Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
