We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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