my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
