Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
PANTIES FOUND
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
