Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
