Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
