Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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