and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
