He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Terrible idea I love it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
